Hormones: That friend or that enemy 

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I realize now that I’ve been ignoring my hormones for a long time. By “ignoring,” I mean acknowledging their presence but not respecting them enough. Let me explain:

When I turned 40, I felt the same as I did in my 30s. The same at 41 when I had my daughter, at 42, and 43. But when I hit 44, I started to notice subtle changes.

I had always brushed off the term "moody," and actually fed up of hearing the world call women this, let's just call it what it is,  feeling overwhelmed. It doesn’t matter if you’re a teenage girl dealing with your first hormonal shifts, a pregnant woman, postpartum, in perimenopause, or dealing with thyroid issues—all related to hormone imbalances and leading to  overwhelmed feelings overload. 

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We’re told to expect tantrums in toddlers, those emotional swings where they seem to experience all the feelings in a single day. But what we often forget is that we, as women, also go through this overwhelming emotional rollercoaster—just without the freedom to let it all out.

It’s like this: if I’m internally grappling with intense emotions, I don't just suippose to lash out at my partner or friends when my hormones are on a rollercoaster, because that is suppose to not be acceptable ( although it hapens, specially with partners). But the thing is, managing that internal chaos leaves little room for the outside world, ( AKA: putting other first before ourselves) especially when there’s so much I’m dealing with inside. Trying to put others first and act like everything is fine? Almost impossible.

I am actually super glad that now hormones are taking its space in the conversations ( at the work place, and other areas of our lives) because it needs to be treated as something that it's happening inside of us, and afecting the outside, period) and it's not easy for a person to handle, and it's isolating). 

 

 I started realizing I need space to work through this on my own, to give myself time to process without feeling guilty for it.

If you’re reading this, you know exactly what I mean. It’s not just the frequent desire to cry, but the intrusive thoughts, the negative thinking, and above all—fear. That fear seems to settle in my stomach, staying with me for however long it needs to. And I’ve come to normalize it.

Along with the emotional side, the physical symptoms started showing up, like more painful periods as I got older. It wasn’t much pain—just cramping that felt more like digestive discomfort on the first day—but it added to the overwhelm.

Taking Control: 

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I’ve always heard the advice to listen to your body, but in my 20s and 30s, I’d power through a workout even on the first day of my period. Now? I listen. I rest. I take it easy.

I went to the doctor to check everything out, but since I wasn’t 45 yet at the time, no hormonal test was offered. However, they did check my thyroid, and it was fine. The doctor recommended I start tracking my symptoms to see if there were any patterns.

Oh, there was a pattern alright! That was my first step toward understanding my hormones better.

I started keeping a calendar, marking my period, my ovulation, and noting how I felt. Over time, I began to see when I was bursting with energy, creativity, and confidence—and when I was on the other end of the spectrum, overwhelmed by fear and exhaustion.

For me, I realized this kind of self-awareness is something many women miss out on. We’re expected to just deal with these overwhelming feelings without much understanding or space to process them. We’re adults, after all, right? we suppose to be able to handle your feelings. Yet we can’t express ourselves the way children do, and that can be isolating.

So, I made it my mission to get to know my hormones like I would a friend—respecting them, understanding them, and realizing just how much I had been ignoring them all this time. The worst part? I wasn’t the only one ignoring my hormones—society had been doing it too. There’s this narrative that if you’re struggling—whether it’s postpartum, pre-period, or perimenopausal—partly you are making excuses, exagerating, or you need to power through. I found myself doing this too, even though I knew better.

But now, we live in a time where we can openly talk about these things, and I’m talking about how hormones have shaped my life.

Once I started tracking my cycle, I also started to confront issues like bloating that I had normalized for years. (Honestly, If I show you some pictures on my phone, you would think I am expecting a second pregnancy). 

I had no idea that I didn’t have to live like that anymore. I began investigating ways to feel better.

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My first breakthrough came when I saw a physiotherapist in Valladolid, who helped me with a chronic knot in my gluteus. After listening to my symptoms, he suggested I stop eating gluten. I was skeptical, but I tried it—and the knot disappeared. That was eye-opening!

Next, I sought help from an Ayurvedic specialist, who put me on a detox diet. One of the most surprising things she told me was that when periods don’t hurt, it’s a sign that the liver is functioning well. Since then, I haven’t had painful periods, which was incredible progress.

But even after moving to Barcelona and starting fresh with new resources, I still had some challenges. That’s when I met a nutritionist who also practiced NPL (Neuro-Linguistic Programming). I went to her for magnesium because I was constantly exhausted, and she pointed out that my cortisol levels were high, I had inflammation, and my blood pressure was low.
 

Her advice? I needed to calm down, meditate, and focus on my wellbeing. She gave me probiotics for 20 days—and that shifted everything. It was like a reset for my body.

I continued with NPL sessions, focusing on my emotional wellbeing. She even gave me Bach flower remedies to help with the fear I felt in my stomach. At first, I was skeptical (though I do lean toward the “woo-woo” side of things), but I decided to give it a try—I mean, I would try anything to make me feel better. Every tiny thing adds up. 

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I’ve become obsessed with learning about hormone balance. It’s incredible how much food can impact your hormones. Flaxseeds, for example, have truly changed my life.

But here’s the thing: progress isn’t linear. Sometimes, life throws a curveball. You go away for the weekend, indulge in cake, or just want to relax with friends. I’d feel guilty, thinking I was failing. But my nutritionist reminded me: perfection is the enemy of progress. If I stress myself out, it affects my cortisol levels and I am adding up to my inflamation, and inmune system! which sits in the digestive system.

If I want to eat the cake, I shouldn’t beat myself up about it. Because I know now my track,  and I can always get back on it. That actually felt comforting. It was true! I knew now exactly what to eat, at what time, and in which part of the cycle in order to feel amazing, so I can always go back to it! 

I invite you to find your own track. 

Since she personalized my diet advice based on my lifestyle, helping me understand what to eat also in the 10 days leading up to my period, when the anxiety and fatigue would hit. I learned about foods that help me feel better, like salvia infusion  and chia seeds.

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Here’s what I’ve learned: my tools matter and it's time to stop pretending everything is fine.

When the overwhelm takes over — and you know the kind I mean, the all-consuming kind where crying or snapping feels like the only release — I’ve learned to let those feelings out in gentler, more healing ways. For me, it’s journaling, daily gratitude, meditation, hip-opening exercises (they’re a game-changer), and movement — even just a 20-minute walk shifts something in me. And aromatherapy has helped too. I swear by Ylang Ylang and Lavender oils — I use them for cramps, and sometimes I just open the bottle and breathe. They offer this strange but beautiful permission to pause.

Then there’s the food part, which might sound surface-level — but honestly, it’s not. Food has been medicine for me. Real medicine. I follow specific nutritional advice I was given, full of little shifts that make a massive difference. They all add up. But here’s the important bit: this kind of support needs to be tailored. There are loads of things you can introduce to your daily life, but a good nutritionist needs to guide you based on your body, your rhythm, your routine.

Now, I am constantly learning about hormone balance. And that’s why you may have read my newsletter about new body shape dressing rules. It’s all connected—the way our bodies change because of hormones, and how we dress to accommodate those changes.

I hope my story encourages you to make some changes too because we don’t have to live in overwhelm. And, just as importantly, it’s a relief to know that we don’t have to be perfect. So, go ahead—eat the cake (and make it with almond flour, coconut oil, and bananas for sweetness). Your hormones—and your tummy—will thank you later.

Thanks for reading. I’m honored.

Raquel